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臨近幸福
211天前 傾聽者 關(guān)注Someone asked me, “how will you know if the person is good for you?” There are many signs, I think. But I strongly believe that someone is good for you if they bring out the softness in you. The version of you who likes bright colors, cute stuff, and calm music. The one who sends cute reels, saves animal photos, and watches animated movies. The one who sings in the kitchen, dances in the rain, and giggles even after a long tiring day. The version of you that says gentle words, speaks in a soft voice, and feels as safe as a sweet child under the star-painted ceiling when around them. The one that doesn’t do people-pleasing, says what the heart says, and feels comfortable just being true. I think the main sign that a person is good for you is when they make you realize you can outgrow the version of you who’s always in defense mode. When they make you realize that you also want to be loved. When they make you realize that you, too, are capable of loving.
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The most attractive thing a man can do is show he’s protective over you in every situation, not just when it’s easy or expected but even in the smallest, unnoticed moments. It’s how he stands beside you when things get hard, defends you when you’re not there to defend yourself and pays attention to your safety, comfort and peace of mind. Protectiveness isn’t about control, it’s about care, respect and the quiet promise that you’ll never have to face the world alone.?? 一個男人所能做的最有吸引力的事情，就是在各種情況下都展現(xiàn)出他對你的保護，而不僅僅是在輕松或合情合理的時候，甚至是在最微小、最不引人注意的時刻也是如此。這意味著在困難時刻他站在你身旁，在你無法自我保護時為你辯護，并關(guān)注你的安全、舒適和內(nèi)心的平靜。保護欲并非關(guān)乎控制，而是關(guān)乎關(guān)懷、尊重，以及一個無聲的承諾：你永遠不必獨自面對世界。??
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“在人際關(guān)系上，別人如何評價你，那是別人的課題，你根本無法左右，太在意別人的視線和評價，才會不斷尋求別人的認可，換言之，自由就是不再尋求認可，我們沒必要去滿足別人的期待。” ——岸見一郎
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Child. Listen to me. Open up your heart for a moment and listen. You don’t need to banish your anger or bury your grief and sadness. The fact that you may feel anger about some injustice or inequity; the fact that you have the capacity to feel grief and sadness means that life still touches you. Learn to trust the wisdom-river flowing beneath the river of these emotions. Learn to walk with your depression, your anxiety, your anger as a teacher and a friend. The fact that you feel means that you care. The thing you really have to watch out for is indifference. The ones who don’t feel anything are the ones who are destroying the world. 孩子，聽我說。請暫時敞開你的心扉，用心聆聽。你無須壓抑憤怒，也不必深埋悲傷。你或許會對某些不公或不平感到憤怒，而你有感受悲傷的能力，這本身就說明生命仍在對你產(chǎn)生影響。 學(xué)會信任流淌在這些情緒之河下的智慧之河。學(xué)會與你的抑郁、你的焦慮、你的憤怒一同前行，視其為導(dǎo)師和朋友。你感到這些情緒的存在，意味著你在乎它們。而真正需要注意的，是冷漠。那些感覺不到任何情緒的人，正是那些正在毀滅世界的人。
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人生最大的捷徑其實是 ——認真培養(yǎng)自己。 常有人說想找捷徑，但這些年最大的體會是:真正有用的捷徑，是花時間培養(yǎng)自己。 這聽起來不酷，也不快，但最實在。 學(xué)新東西快一點:保持學(xué)習(xí)狀態(tài)，新知識、新技能上手就快。這能應(yīng)對變化，減少焦慮。 身體和情緒穩(wěn)一點:規(guī)律作息，適度運動，關(guān)注情緒。身體少出問題，心態(tài)少崩，做事才有效率。 看問題遠一點:試著跳出眼前，想想長期影響和更廣的關(guān)系。做決定會更清晰，少走彎路。 這些事積累起來，就是能力的增長。自己強一點，很多問題自然就簡單一點，機會也可能多一點。 少想外面有什么捷徑，多花功夫提升自己。 “時間花在哪，結(jié)果就在哪。”
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And I finally understand that the most important ingredient of any healthy relationship was the feeling of safety. Feeling safe enough to know that you can be your real, true, messy, vulnerable self and be loved just the way you are. 我終于明白，任何健康關(guān)系中最重要的是“安全感”這一要素。 感到足夠安全，知道自己可以展現(xiàn)真實的、純粹的、雜亂無章的、脆弱的自我，并且被以本來的樣子所愛。
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“生活中有四件事可以改變你：愛、音樂、文字和失去。前三件事讓人心生希望，請允許最后一件事使你變得勇敢。” ——萬特特
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If putting myself first makes me selfish, then so be it. I choose to prioritize my peace, my dreams and my growth. I will always honor my time, protect my energy and surround myself with what truly uplifts me. After all, safeguarding my happiness and feeling truly secure is my foremost responsibility. 如果把自己放在首位讓我顯得自私，那就這樣吧。我選擇優(yōu)先考慮自己的平靜、夢想和成長。我將始終珍惜時間，保護精力，并與真正能讓我振奮的事物為伴。畢竟，守護自己的幸福并感到真正的安全，是我的首要責(zé)任。
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忙碌， 是世界上最便宜的藥， 寧可累點，也別閒著， 忙碌充實的生活， 足以沖淡複雜的情緒。 忙是治癒一切的良藥， 只有忙起來，才不會胡思亂想， 有目的，有規(guī)劃的忙， 日子在忙忙碌碌中充實， 生活在粗茶淡飯中生香， 慢慢你就會明白， 閒人是非多，一忙解千愁……
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If two points are destined to touch, the universe will always find a way to make the connection, even when all hope seems to be lost. Certain ties cannot be broken. They define who we are and who we become. Across space, across time, among paths we cannot predict, nature will always find a way.. 如果兩個點注定要相觸， 宇宙總會找到出路。 以建立這種聯(lián)系， 即便所有希望看似都已破滅。 某些聯(lián)系是無法斬斷的。 它們定義了我們是誰，以及我們將成為什么樣的人。 穿越空間，跨越時間，穿梭于不同的路徑之間。 我們無法預(yù)測， 大自然總會找到出路。 薩維·夏爾馬
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若要自由， 就得犧牲安穩(wěn)。 若要閑散， 就不能獲得別人評價中的成就。 若要愉悅， 就無需計較身邊人給予的態(tài)度。 若要前行， 就得離開你現(xiàn)在停留的地方。? ——安妮寶貝 《清醒紀》