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總有一天你會意識到——幸福從來不是關于你的工作,你的學位,或者一段關系。幸福從來不是追隨那些在你之前來的人的腳步,也從來不是像其他人一樣。總有一天,你會看到——幸福總是關于發現、希望,傾聽你的內心,無論它選擇去哪里,都跟隨它。幸福總是關于善待自己,總是關于擁抱你正在變成的人。總有一天,你會明白。幸福總是關于學會如何與自己相處,幸福從來不在別人的手中。它總是關于你。它總是關于你。” You’re going to realize it one day — that happiness was never about your job, or your degree, or being in a relationship. Happiness was never about following in the footsteps of all of those who came before you, it was never about being like the others. One day, you’re going to see it — that happiness was always about the discovery, the hope, the listening to your heart and following it wherever it chose to go. Happiness was always about being kinder to yourself, it was always about embracing the person you were becoming. One day, you will understand. That happiness was always about learning how to live with yourself, that happiness was never in the hands of other people. It was always about you. It was always about you. “
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《獻給阿爾吉儂的花束》里有一句話是這樣說的: “你要的答案不在書本里,也不能靠別人來解決,除非你想一輩子當小孩。你必須在自我內部找到答案,感受到該做的正確事情。” 沒有人會來。沒有人會來讓你的生活更美好。沒有穿著閃亮鎧甲的騎士帶你到幸福樂園。 幸運的是,我們可以成為自己的鎧甲騎士, 如果你愿意的話。
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Be someone who still tries. After failure, frustrations, and heartache Be a person who musters up the courage to try and believe that good things are yet to come.,?? 做那個仍在努力的人。 在經歷了失敗、挫折和心痛之后, 成為那種鼓起勇氣、并堅信美好事物即將到來的人。??
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一次頓悟并不足以改變人生,她只是躲過了第一顆子彈,而前路還很漫長。她得學會動態地活著,與她所有的問題共存。 ——傅真《斑馬》
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The most attractive thing a man can do is show he’s protective over you in every situation, not just when it’s easy or expected but even in the smallest, unnoticed moments. It’s how he stands beside you when things get hard, defends you when you’re not there to defend yourself and pays attention to your safety, comfort and peace of mind. Protectiveness isn’t about control, it’s about care, respect and the quiet promise that you’ll never have to face the world alone.?? 一個男人所能做的最有吸引力的事情,就是在各種情況下都展現出他對你的保護,而不僅僅是在輕松或合情合理的時候,甚至是在最微小、最不引人注意的時刻也是如此。這意味著在困難時刻他站在你身旁,在你無法自我保護時為你辯護,并關注你的安全、舒適和內心的平靜。保護欲并非關乎控制,而是關乎關懷、尊重,以及一個無聲的承諾:你永遠不必獨自面對世界。??
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“在人際關系上,別人如何評價你,那是別人的課題,你根本無法左右,太在意別人的視線和評價,才會不斷尋求別人的認可,換言之,自由就是不再尋求認可,我們沒必要去滿足別人的期待。” ——岸見一郎
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Child. Listen to me. Open up your heart for a moment and listen. You don’t need to banish your anger or bury your grief and sadness. The fact that you may feel anger about some injustice or inequity; the fact that you have the capacity to feel grief and sadness means that life still touches you. Learn to trust the wisdom-river flowing beneath the river of these emotions. Learn to walk with your depression, your anxiety, your anger as a teacher and a friend. The fact that you feel means that you care. The thing you really have to watch out for is indifference. The ones who don’t feel anything are the ones who are destroying the world. 孩子,聽我說。請暫時敞開你的心扉,用心聆聽。你無須壓抑憤怒,也不必深埋悲傷。你或許會對某些不公或不平感到憤怒,而你有感受悲傷的能力,這本身就說明生命仍在對你產生影響。 學會信任流淌在這些情緒之河下的智慧之河。學會與你的抑郁、你的焦慮、你的憤怒一同前行,視其為導師和朋友。你感到這些情緒的存在,意味著你在乎它們。而真正需要注意的,是冷漠。那些感覺不到任何情緒的人,正是那些正在毀滅世界的人。
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人生最大的捷徑其實是 ——認真培養自己。 常有人說想找捷徑,但這些年最大的體會是:真正有用的捷徑,是花時間培養自己。 這聽起來不酷,也不快,但最實在。 學新東西快一點:保持學習狀態,新知識、新技能上手就快。這能應對變化,減少焦慮。 身體和情緒穩一點:規律作息,適度運動,關注情緒。身體少出問題,心態少崩,做事才有效率。 看問題遠一點:試著跳出眼前,想想長期影響和更廣的關系。做決定會更清晰,少走彎路。 這些事積累起來,就是能力的增長。自己強一點,很多問題自然就簡單一點,機會也可能多一點。 少想外面有什么捷徑,多花功夫提升自己。 “時間花在哪,結果就在哪。”
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And I finally understand that the most important ingredient of any healthy relationship was the feeling of safety. Feeling safe enough to know that you can be your real, true, messy, vulnerable self and be loved just the way you are. 我終于明白,任何健康關系中最重要的是“安全感”這一要素。 感到足夠安全,知道自己可以展現真實的、純粹的、雜亂無章的、脆弱的自我,并且被以本來的樣子所愛。
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“生活中有四件事可以改變你:愛、音樂、文字和失去。前三件事讓人心生希望,請允許最后一件事使你變得勇敢。” ——萬特特
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If putting myself first makes me selfish, then so be it. I choose to prioritize my peace, my dreams and my growth. I will always honor my time, protect my energy and surround myself with what truly uplifts me. After all, safeguarding my happiness and feeling truly secure is my foremost responsibility. 如果把自己放在首位讓我顯得自私,那就這樣吧。我選擇優先考慮自己的平靜、夢想和成長。我將始終珍惜時間,保護精力,并與真正能讓我振奮的事物為伴。畢竟,守護自己的幸福并感到真正的安全,是我的首要責任。