One of the mistakes we make when we go through a hard time, whether it’s a breakup, rejection, “failure” etc. is that we focus just on solving the problem we’re going through now. We want the pain to go away NOW so we spend hours and days, sometimes months or years, talking about the same issue instead of understanding WHY it hurts so much. And why we can’t live peacefully with it there. Most of our pain is painful because of the story to which we attach it. The story that most likely began in our childhood: “I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve love. People always leave me.” Heal that story. Heal it so you can stop reliving the pain of it every time something happens in your life that brings you to the same conclusion. 當(dāng)我們經(jīng)歷困難時(shí)期時(shí)，比如分手、被拒絕或“失敗”等，我們?nèi)菀追傅囊粋€(gè)錯(cuò)誤是，只專注于解決當(dāng)前面臨的問題。我們迫切希望痛苦能夠即刻消失，因此會(huì)花費(fèi)數(shù)小時(shí)、數(shù)天，甚至數(shù)月或數(shù)年的時(shí)間，反復(fù)討論同樣的問題，而不是去理解它為何會(huì)給人帶來如此深重的傷害，以及我們?yōu)楹螣o法平靜地接受它。我們大部分的痛苦都源于那些我們與之產(chǎn)生關(guān)聯(lián)的故事。這些故事大多起源于我們的童年：“我不夠好。我不配得到愛。人們總是離我而去。”治愈這些故事，才能讓你不再每次在生活中遇到類似情況時(shí)，都重蹈痛苦的覆轍，不再得出一個(gè)相同的結(jié)論。